Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Piano Forum Deliberately annoying post...

Are you bored yet? I am. Sorry. I have seen too many questions as follows and am in a mood to sound off...

Is this a good deal? Answer: none of us have seen or played this piano. And it is not all about price anyway. So make your own mind up. Dork.

Gloss or satin? Answer: would you consult a forum to choose the colour of your life partner’s hair or skin? No? Well make you own mind up about which finish you prefer then! It is a trivial decision in comparison. Get a life.

Which is best: grottyman, hammy mason, bosenburger, or some other PSO? Answer – use your ears and fingers and make your own mind up. We all choose different cars, houses, partners and everything else so what on earth makes you think we can choose a piano for you? Are you mad?

European, Japanese, Chinese or American? Help please !!! ☺ Answer – just play the damn things and pick which one you like best. Does anyone ask this question about bombs? Don’t even go there.

Renner, pretend Renner, Rennerish, wish I was a Renner, or unashamedly not Renner and proud of it in this new Millennium III. Which do I choose? Answer: Who gives a damn? They are all much the same as they all use more or less exactly the same system of levers as they have for over a hundred years and 99% of players cannot tell the difference after a tech has been at them, and as sure as God is my witness if you were in the 1% you would not be here asking this inane question. It is like saying "which wheel is best?" Doh!

Do I need a tech to help me choose my piano? Answer: if you are blind, deaf and stupid the answer is obviously yes? If you are dealing with the guy who everybody knows is a crook and is just as happy selling time share holiday homes as pianos, then the answer is also yes. You also need a brain transplant. Mostly though the answer is no – get a grip and make a decision on your own for goodness sake.

Which “player system is best? Answer: the one called a "hi-fi" that plays CD's. Everthing else is a substitue for not being able to play a piano. Buy a harmonica, not a piano. It is much cheaper to be cr*p on a harmonica and you can spend the other $3,000 on CD's!

I could go on. And on. Aaaarrgh!!!

Adrian

Don't hold back, mate. You're among friends. Tell us how you really feel!

How about unending shopping posts (Part 17)...like we care that they played every piano made and are really interested in their opinions.

Oh yea, that was you!!

Steve,
LMAO

And adrian, what's the need for two threads of the exact same topic?

I did that to be really, really annoying! (actually it was a technical hitch).

And Steve, I agree abiut the piano search. I was bored too. But not half as bored as I am with dealers defending the indefensible pricing that gets slapped on pianos. :-) And, by the way, part 17 was easily my best work. (what was it about by the way? Not your brand. Sorry :-) )

A

(PS, I am considering going out with a bang. I just can't think of anything explosive enough at the moment to do the trick to my satisfaction)

A: That wasn't so annoying! I'm sure you can do better!

Are you really going to go out with a bang? That will be worth the price of admission, indeed.

I want to get a new piano bench. Is it better to get an artist's bench, a regular one with padding, or one without padding? I'm also leaning toward a bench with a bubinga finish. Will this clash with the drapes?

You should always have a technician check out a new bench. You might otherwise get one where one of the legs doesn't reach the floor, or some other hard-to-find defect.

In addition, Noona suggests that you have a water tank, ozone generator, and padding stuffing compaction detection system installed, or else your bench may suffer from spontaneous combustion.

For more info:
http://shusterpiano.com/pub/PianoBonfire.jpg

--Cy--

MarkB - everyone knows that Chinese benches are the up and coming "next big thing". Some dealers will quote you $10,000 for these, but the top dogs can do them for only $4.99 if you sign a finance deal today. Personaly I prefer each leg to have a different colour and the top should be in pink velour with imation but real looking gold buttons. Really tasteful. A cool stool helps the tone.

I am about to patent a vibrating stool that massages your backside as you "perform". I am hoping to have an artist endorsement. Mr L*ang de La*g has already tried the prototype. He pronounced it fant-arse-tic. I agree.

A

Didn't mean to post yet, oops!

Well, I think you should definately go with a wood bench over and ebony one, as they seem more classic and are easier to refinish. And of course you want to go with a Yamaha bench because everyone knows they are so reliable.

Actually do not get a bench. Use a chair instead, as every bench I've ever had so far has found some way to break, whether the bottom falls out or the hinge snaps and the lid crashes into the piano. Wait! That's not true. I have one bench that hasn't done anything to me yet. So in that case get a bench. Because my experience will definately be the same as yours.

(By the way, I do disagree on some of the points in the original post, but it's more fun to "join em" then argue with them in this case!!)

Have you had a few ales tonight AJB ?

Adrian,

You've made my week with this forum topic I couldn't stop laughing after I read it.

Well done mate!

John

I did that to be really, really annoying!
---You Succeeded. Now come up with some good ideas of your own. As for the rest of you, ask whatever you like, AJB can just ignore it if he doesn't like it.

But be sure to avoid a grey market Yamaha bench, as they are SEASONED FOR DESTINATION!

Reaching into my fridge

Pulling out 2 6's of Bass Ale

Passing one to everyone in the room

Passing the bottle opener

Leaning back, putting my feet up on my desk

Anyone seen the remote?

Toast to a relaxing weekend.

Whoa, AJB blew a gasket! Really different from his usual posts. About all I can say is that for most of us a piano is or will be a major purchase for an instrument we plan to keep for a long, long time. Id rather get my dumb sounding questions out of the way before I plop down my money than to read everyones opinions of how I overpaid or bought an edsel a.k.a. a Pegasus 120 P! Most of the hand holding questions seem to be from ABF I think,where beginners like me need reinforcement. But I get your point on the redundancy.

AJB, I thought it was MY job to spice up this place with irreverent (and irrelevant!) humor. :p

Oh well, I do get weary of cranking out these deliberately annoying smilies. :rolleyes:

Folks on this forum can be so serious!

Posts I love: My piano has been in the back yard for the last 20 years. Should I rebuild it or buy a new one?

For the frequent posts which query: Help identify my piano I am always tempted to respond:
It's a piano.

I think it's mildly amusing that AJG double-posted his annoying thread. What could be more annoying? I s'pose a triple post. :p

I just got in from Richmond (that's US Richmond, not UK) where I bought a Mac laptop. I managed to decide which one without a single word of advice from this crowd. Now, do you think I should .... ah, I won't go there.

Whippen: your little satire probably won't be noticed by the people it's intended to spoof.


Here's another frequent question: "I've got this beut of an old 'Obi One' model Knabe and it's got a serial number 46883. How old is it?"

WELL, LOOK UP THE BLOODY NUMBER ON THE WEB YOURSELF.

OK, if Adrian were giving the answer it would be

WELL, LOOK UP TEH BLOODY NUBMER ON TEH WEB YOURSLEF.

Cheers,

D